We spend our childhoods being shaped by the family and community system that we live in.

Adults that work with me tend to find themselves ‘awakening’ in their 30-40’s only to realise that there is more to life then the confines from which they came. Often they end up talking with me because they don’t know how to break free. How to grant themselves permission. How to write a new map, a new story and move away from the system that created them.

Sometimes the move is accepted and rejoiced over within those systems, but typically those people don’t come to see me. They come because it is not accepted. It is not understood why you would want pursue a different pathway.

If you find yourself needing to draw strength on your own for the first time to go your own way, here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Connect with others who are like minded AND who forging a path: There’s nothing more uplifting than sharing time and space with people who get it.
2. Practice reframing: My clients hear negative beliefs about themselves as they attempt to push their own boundaries – write these down. Now write an alternative and constructive belief. The next time that thought pops in…. replace it. Don’t engage with the negative.
3. Break down your goal into digestible chunks: Overwhelm visits when the gap between the resources you have and those you perceive you need, is too big. To lessen this gap, make a plan that allows you to knock off a check list each day that leads to you achieving your goal. 
4. Track your contributions: Each night, write down what you have contributed too that day. For this to be effective, write down at least 3 different occasions. They can be small, so long as they are meaningful to you. The practice of recognising your contributions lifts you back up, and supports you to continue doing what you do best. Being you.

How do you go your own way?